The topic for the OVFF Songwriting Contest this year was "Dr... I Presume". I stared at this for a moment earlier this week, thought "What can I do with this?", and then realized that the following would work.
In any case, I got a song out of it. :)
Words and Music: Bill Roper
You told me that my weight gain comes from dietary fat
And eggs would raise cholesterol and no one would want that,
But now you say it’s carbs and all that other stuff was wrong,
So I picked up my guitar and now I’m writing you this song.
Doctor, I presume that you are looking out for me.
You’ve got to have it right, because you’ve got that Ph.D.
So I will follow your advice and we will surely see
That everything is looking up for me.
I thought I’d get my kids their shots, but then I got the word
That it might cause autism, so I rely on the herd:
If enough kids are immune, then mine won’t get the pox.
Now they’re itchy and they’re scratchy and we’re going to the doc’s.
Science is much better when you do it at the bench
With no human population throwing in a monkey wrench.
Research is much harder when you’re lacking a control.
Let’s mount up a scratch planet and take another roll.
From the Solar System’s birth down to the economic news,
There’s a lot of speculation and some fine divergent views.
Climatology, dark energy don’t fit into your lab,
And though you might be wrong or right, I think I’ll take a stab.
Doctor, I presume that you are looking out for me
And you think you’ve got it right, because you’ve got that Ph.D.
But I will take a grain of salt when deciding what to do
When I listen to the next advice from you.
And everything is looking up for me.