And some time on Saturday afternoon, my subconscious finished chewing on the question and spit out an appropriate, but completely (more or less) non-sexual plot line. I could work with that! :)
I don't know if it was because attendance was down or because of the choice of words, but there only ended up being three entries in the contest. (Four, if you count andpuff's contribution that she didn't get to perform after leaving early due to a death in the family.) I ended up finishing second behind mrgoodwraith's similarly themed -- in that the Titanic was involved -- and quite funny song, "Break Up", which was just fine by me.
Words and Music: Bill Roper
Save the Titanic
He stood upon the chilly deck, dressed in warm English tweed,
Jumping here through time and space to satisfy the need.
He saw the dark Atlantic, that icy northern sea,
And swore he would be certain that the future would not be.
“Save the Titanic!” was why he came that day,
Arriving from the future to chase the past away.
Fifteen hundred people would never have to drown.
If he could kill that iceberg, the ship would not go down.
The future held technologies this world had never seen.
Locked inside his cabin, he’d brought a fine machine.
Against the force it brought to bear, no iceberg stood a chance.
And so the ice was pulverized – he waltzed off to the dance.
She walked across the floor – he thought he’d take a chance.
Her stilettos clicking lightly as they glided in their dance,
She whispered in his ear, “You had a handsome plan.
It’s a shame that we can never let it stand.”
He felt the ship lurch sideways as it rammed into the ice.
A penguin slid across the deck, a touch of added spice.
“It came from the Antarctic, the closest I could find.
A prophylactic patch to keep the future right on time.”
(Chorus, then alternate chorus)
“Sink the Titanic!” was why she came that day,
Arriving from the future so the past won’t go away.
Fifteen hundred people condemned by time to drown.
She found another iceberg so the ship will still go down.
Must still go down.
Must always drown.
Or as daisy_knotwise said after listening to the song, "Spiders and snakes."
True enough. And it's been a long time since I read my Fritz Leiber...