So we gave up.
Katie and Julie spent the afternoon playing with the neighbor girls.
I (with a bit of help from daisy_knotwise) spent the afternoon emptying, ripping apart, spackling, and painting the closet in the library so that we can install the nice Elfa hardware that Jeff and Carol gifted us with for Christmas 2012 and which we finally got organized enough to pick up in late December of 2013.
If anything goes according to plan tomorrow, samwinolj will come over tomorrow and help me install the big cross piece for the Elfa system and remount the basement banister that came off the wall about a month ago.
Fingers crossed! :)