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Bill Roper's Journal
Translating UPS 
18th-Apr-2016 04:57 pm
I am sure that all of you have been waiting with bated breath to find out whether or not my missing toilet bowl had been strip searched.

Apparently so.

At 1:49 PM, my poor toilet bowl changed from "Out for delivery" to "A required security check has delayed delivery."

At 3:57 PM, it changed to "Service disruption occurred. / The package will be returned to the sender."

I interpret this as "We drop kicked your toilet bowl and broke it. Although we can deliver the broken bowl to you, it will only result in us having to pick it up again, so we have cut out the middleman and sent it back to Amazon. Maybe you should talk to them."

One Amazon chat window later, Amazon is now sending me another full toilet and I will return the extra tank once I actually get the replacement and ascertain that nothing has been broken in the second shipment. Also, this will take a darned sight longer to get here, because Amazon is now out of toilets, so my replacement toilet appears to be coming from somewhere substantially farther away than Indianapolis. (ETA: Yup. Chico, California.)

On the other hand, the Amazon toilets were about $84 cheaper each than the replacement and I am not paying for the replacement, so...

On the gripping hand, the plumber is supposed to come tomorrow and install three toilets. Two toilets are here and one of the existing toilets really needs to be replaced...
18th-Apr-2016 11:18 pm (UTC)
Amazon is now sending me another full toilet...

Kinda hoping they're not sending, you know, a full toilet.
19th-Apr-2016 01:43 am (UTC)
There are reasons I avoid UPS if at all possible.

Within the past 12 months they've completely failed to pick up an Amazon package and failed to deliver a package I sent in the two-day window.
19th-Apr-2016 10:24 am (UTC)
I live at the bottom of an outdoor staircase. The last two times UPS delivered a package to me, the driver couldn't be bothered to go down to my front door but left it at the top of the stairs, in public view.
19th-Apr-2016 12:15 pm (UTC)
Our UPS driver tells us that they've been under a lot of pressure to increase the efficiency of their deliveries, and going down/up stairs is really slow.

He says that at one point last year, the drivers were told that they shouldn't pull into residential driveways, which is somewhat sensible in towns/inner ring suburbs with small lots and houses not set very far back from the road, but out here in the exurbs where the houses are considerably farther back, it slows them waaay down. That particular directive only lasted a couple of months.

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