Although I am not a dotard. Trust me on this.
So I got the new Behringer X-Touch Extender and that meant that I had to rewire the whole connection, because I had connected the original X-Touch controller using MIDI, but you can't daisy chain the extender to the original unit using MIDI. I tried the Ethernet connectivity without success and eventually decided to wire it together via USB.
Of course, I did not have the right cables. But I did have a USB extender cable that I could use to make the connection reach from the X-Touch to the computer and then I could daisy chain the extender via USB off the back of the X-Touch. No problem.
Except that it worked, well, intermittently. I finally managed to get everything working and went back upstairs, planning to do some more mixing when I had time.
(This was made more complex by having to do a massive restore to my system to get it working again after the Windows 10 Creators Update broke everything audio-related. Plugins? Ha! We don't need no stinkin' plugins. Yeah, the heck we don't.)
Time passed. Way too much time.
I come downstairs to mix today. I fire up Cubase. I discover that there's an update. Fine. Load it. Start Cubase.
Crap. The X-Touch duo wake up, but none of the controls work, although the faders will move if I move the faders on the MixConsole. This is sort of the glaring opposite of what I want to have happen.
So I mess around with this for about 45 minutes, plugging, unplugging, swearing. Nothing is helping.
And I look and I realize that there is a box sitting on the edge of the console labeled "Amazon Basics". It contains the 16 foot USB cable that I had bought to replace my jerry-rigged cable collection. Apparently, I had dropped it off down here at some time in the intervening months, but had not actually bothered to connect it.
Well, I can connect it now.
And after a power off, power on cycle, everything appears to be working.
Yes, Gretchen, apparently all things can be fixed by One More Cable (TM).
You know, I prefer it when my technological devices just work...