August 26th, 2008

Thank You, *Dear*

I was digging through and cleaning out old e-mail, when I found this little bit from around the time of my last colonoscopy. Apparently, I came up with the first two lines when the tech told me that many people try to schedule their colonoscopy around a holiday so that they don't have to take time off from work. This somewhat boggled me, at which point I came up with the first two lines of the little ditty below.

Sadly, I came up with a few more lines over dinner.

So to the tune of "I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas":

I want a colonoscopy for Christmas.
A colonoscopy is all I want.
Don't want a truck or a pole for catching bass.
All I want's a doctor who will --

And Gretchen said, "Thank you, dear!"

Arriving In the Wrong Story #2

Before any of the townspeople were willing to even consider evacuating the town, because of the imminent collapse of the dam above the town, it was first necessary for our hero to repave all of the roads that lead out of town, at least one of which appeared to have a hole in it from his arrival on the scene. It would be good to make a softer landing next time, he thought to himself.

"Ok, now would you please let me get you out of town before the dam bursts?"

"Oh, heck. That dam's going to be just fine. And it's just so much more pleasurable driving around town now that you've fixed the streets. We'll just go cruising by the malt shop instead."

It was then that he noticed the incoming thunderstorm...