Bill Roper (billroper) wrote,
Bill Roper
billroper

Furshlugginer Knee

Going home would have seemed to be a simple thing and it probably would have been if the soft splint that they put on my knee actually allowed it to bend more than a few degrees. Although it's quite swollen, it can bend. It just isn't happy about lateral motion, nor do I intend to experiment with putting any substantial weight on it for the time being.

But when daisy_knotwise rolled the van around, we confronted the reality of me, one unbendable leg, one little girl in her backseat child seat, and the fact that the back of the van was still full of the stock that we'd brought back from Confusion. This eliminated most of the possible large flat surfaces in the van, although I was starting to consider riding home in the birdcage. However, this particular act of hubris probably would have caused the entire stack of boxes to fall on my already offended knee, so it's probably just as well that we didn't try it.

I tried crawling into the right front seat, but it rapidly became apparent that the knee wasn't going in that way. Thump. Ok, how about the left middle seat? Well, we got my butt in, but getting an unbendable leg in wasn't going to be happening.

The nurse offered the possibility of an ambulance transport home, which seemed pretty silly and probably would have driven my health insurance insane. Instead, we removed the soft splint, carefully bent my knee, and maneuvered my size 13 foot through the door. I realized that getting into the house would provide yet more entertainment, so I called my good buddy, Sam.

Sam had had quite a day himself as he flew back from a client and was just about to sit down to dinner and a large glass of wine when the phone rang. Being Sam, he left dinner and wine and headed out to help me get in the door and up the three steps into the house. Since we were clever enough to pull the van into the garage by itself, this worked reasonably well. Sam then helped Gretchen unload the van so that we would have more options about where to put me when we go back to the hospital tomorrow.

Gretchen went out and picked up dinner while I fed Katie. Then we watched How I Met Your Mother, Heroes, and Studio 60, because having landed in my large recliner I wasn't strongly incented to move until I needed to head to the bathroom. *sigh*

I'd already been informed by the nurse that I would be going up the stairs backwards on my butt. This took only about five minutes. Figuring out how to stand up took a bit longer. I eventually scooted into the office and levered myself up into my rolling desk chair, firmly braced against the world's biggest and heaviest desk and the lovely and talented Gretchen.

I think I'll just roll into the bedroom.
Tags: home, knee, musings
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