The van said, "Click, click, click, click, click."
I said, "No!" And I called AAA.
Fortunately, it was just a dead battery. This is now two cars that have had original equipment batteries go out from under me with no warning after 3.5 years. I consider myself officially warned.
New battery installed, I made it on the road about 3 hours later than I'd hoped for, two hours later than I'd planned, and one hour later than I would have if the battery hadn't failed.
Happily, catalana held dinner. A very long time.
The weather cooperated by being warm enough that the snow on the berm had melted to the point where I could back the van up into the snow and load out directly on the cleared sidewalk (which we cleared a bit more before starting), up the back stairs, and in through the kitchen. All of the furniture is now in place and no major damage has been done to it or us.
And I've seen Ohio Northern University, which is a very pretty little campus.