Bill Roper (billroper) wrote,
Bill Roper

Dressing Like a Penguin

FilkOntario has an annual at-con songwriting contest where they provide you with the list of required words and you have to construct a song using all of them. One of the words is always "penguin". The other five words this year were "devious", "thighs", "chocolate", "relieved", and "loremaster". I thought about this for a bit and realized that I could manage a song using these. So I did.

I placed second, behind harperjen's "42 -- No, Chocolate!", which was just fine. (And with any luck, she'll get around to posting her lyrics. :) )

But here are mine...

Words and Music: Bill Roper
Copyright 2011

Dressing Like a Penguin

My Loremaster has me worried, she is devious and sly,
And though I’m one hot wizard, she thinks that I’m just some guy.
She thinks she’s got me wired as she sends me on a quest
So I’m stepping out in character to show her I’m the best.

I’m dressing like a penguin from my head down to my toes,
‘Cause wizard robes are quite passe as everybody knows.
Now I’m wearing a tuxedo with a cane and my top hat.
It was good enough for Mandrake, so there’s nothing wrong with that.

When I tore off that wizard’s robe, she knew she’d been deceived,
And then I saw her smilin’– I was feeling quite relieved.
“You’re looking awful classy,” she said with shining eyes.
I said, “I didn’t wear this suit to prevent chafing thighs.”

I’m dancing through the dungeon and I’m giving evil pain.
I don’t need to kill them with a staff – I’ll dispell them with my cane.
And if they think they’ve got me trapped, they’re wrong in thinking that.
I’ve got the proper spell to pull a rabbit from my hat.

She said, “Now your tuxedo covers up a lot of sin.
If two guys brought me chocolate, well, the well-dressed guy would win.”
I said, “I’ve got Godiva in the pocket of my vest
So when this quest is over, we can see what suits you best.”

It was good enough for Mandrake, so there’s nothing wrong with that.

It worked for Zatara too.
If you’d like, I can conjure up a matching outfit for you,
‘Cause you would make one fine Zatanna.
Hey there, sweet mama,
Who’s your daddy?
Oh, yeah.
Tags: cons, filk, lyrics, musings

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